Melancholy Air

There's a vibe in the air I don't quite understand.
I don't know if I'm supposed to or not.

Though it settles on the heart
and

weighs

you (me)

down.

Still. I find immense beauty in Bleak Things.
I love grey skies. I love dead trees.
I love that the leaves are falling.
So maybe,
if I can find beauty in the bleak things that are physical...
Perhaps there's beauty in the bleak things that aren't.

That's true.

There's a sweetness to pain. A bitter sweetness.

Forgive me for the rather melancholy air of this post.

I'm just trying to figure something out. 

With utmost sincerity,
Kaitlin R.

Just a little down today...

First>>

I do not understand what I did wrong.

Second>>

I am glad that bad guys are captured and that people can come together. 

Third>>

I am sad that there have to be so many hurts first, and then more after. 

Fourth>>

I feel a little distant today.

Fifth>>

I want to stay at home. Forever. 

<<First

And it makes me wonder what else in my life was I wrong about. 

<<Second

God Bless America

<<Third

We will not give in. We will not give up. 

<<Fourth

There are beautiful things in the distance. Sometimes it is not such a bad place.

<<Fifth

There is no place like home. But home is not home unless I have been away first.

* * *

I feel bad that I got really upset today because a new episode of one of my favorite shows got cancelled because of extensive news coverage of the Boston man-hunt. 

I feel really bad because I got all upset and then I thought of the families of the people who died. And I thought of the people who got limbs torn from them in such violence and hate. And I thought of my country. And I thought of families. And I thought of those two men who did it all and I got mad. And then I got weary. And then I realized I should stop putting so many "I's" in my sentences. 

We'll keep going, because that's what we do.We.

I found out a hard thing about myself. And it makes me sad and lonesome feeling. It's one of those things that you just are and can't really change. It's not a bad thing. Just a hard thing. And it makes me feel bad that it's not bad, and I shouldn't have to apologize, but I still do because that's another thing that I am. I'm a sorry-er. Just like I'm a crier. I'm a sorry-er. 

Sorry, it's a down day. 

Tomorrow will be kinder.

With utmost sincerity,
Kaitlin R.