It's like that moment when you realize that perhaps...

You are Peter Pan...

and that changes everything...

With utmost sincerity, 
Kaitlin R. 

 

Home...

I'm home now with my beloved mountains, and real food.

It's odd and heavy, but not unpleasant. 

I saw a word recently that made me think. And thinking makes me nostalgic and that's just sometimes no good. I can't even remember why I loved these memories so much; why they mean so much to me because they're ordinary and uneventful, and you'd think I'd think of them last, but I don't. I never do. 

You know, I'm starting to realize something. 

To live will be an awfully big adventure.

To live is...

With utmost sincerity, 
Kaitlin R.

...

I don't belong to this place. 

I don't feel a connection to this soil, these trees, the sidewalks. 

At home I knew where my feet would take me if I just walked. I knew what it felt like to stand in the grass in my front yard on summer evenings. 

Sometime I feel frozen. Sometimes I feel like those blasted trees will never blossom; never bloom. Some have started. But I don't look at the city from up on a hill and see green swaying. Sometimes I'm irrationally afraid I never will.

I want a thunderstorm. 

I want to go back to the days of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Sometimes I miss ponytail Zuko. 

I want to feel connected to this place. I want it to not be a strangers land. 

I want to see mountains again, mountains...

Then I remember it's time to begin.

 It's not the place. It's perspective.

I don't always believe that though. There's a reason my roots are so close to a suburb sidewalk, to a quiet street, to the place where the mountain meets the valley. 

I won't get to see my home in Spring. It's rather nice when it's in Spring. 

Nicer in late summer and early Autumn. Thankfully I'll be home then. 

{I don't know what I did to deserve so much from you, Lord. I am thankful everyday, in every way I know how, and I know it's not enough. Please help me to be more thankful. Help me to endure my blessings.}

"Lord, grant me the patience to endure my blessings, and the courage to face them."

With utmost sincerity,
Kaitlin R.

There are moments that fall closely together, one by one. 

And those moments are life. There are millions of them. A wink, a smile, a smirk. A kiss, a sigh, a tear. 

If I've learned nothing from these moments, then I have not been paying attention.

There is something so beautiful about tire swings. Tire swings in summer. Grass blowing in the early evening breeze. The slanted sunlight lighting the mountains to the east. 

I breathe it in, but somehow it's not as sweet as it was when I was a child. Or maybe it's exactly the same, but I'm not as sweet. 

Is that an inevitability of growing up?

I didn't mean to. I don't know if I wanted to or not. I had to. There was no way around it. 

I've heard it said though, that growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 
I try to live like that. 

Yes...
There are those moments when I am completely and utterly a child. A child in the real sense of the word. Not childish. Not immature. Not wanting my mommy (which I often do).

I mean those moments when I catch a glimpse of the Never Never Land. When I can smell its sandy shore. I will no longer land there...

And that's okay. Though it hurts something awful sometimes.  

But.

We were made to grow. Up? Old?

Old. Perhaps with a sprinkling of up.

There is something inherently good about being a child. There is something beautiful and wonderful and breathtakingly lovely about being a child.

I sense in every summer breeze...and around Christmas time. Oh yes...always around Christmas time...

I never saw Boo Radley. I wonder if he saw me?

With utmost sincerity,
Kaitlin R.

Letting Go...

Goodbye's are always bitter-sweet.

To be going is an incredible thing. It's good to go. To get somewhere. To move along. To live.

That's why it's bitter-sweet.

Is someone always left behind? Are goodbye's one person going on and one person staying.

I am staying. I'm in a waiting place. Waiting.

Left behind?

I'm not so sure...

I do know this. Letting go does not mean giving away forever. Goings are not forever. Going in and of itself implies return.

But living is. Living is forever.

Am I living? Truly? Deeply? I am alive. But do I live?

I know it's like letting a bit of your heart take to the road. Arms spread. Flying. And somehow the rest of you is still on the ground watching it go.

Watching with all hope and happiness and joy. Watching with all pride and fascination.

Watching with all longing and wonderment.

I do not know why I am staying, or waiting, or whatever it is I'm doing.

But, I do know that I will. I will wait. I will stay. I will watch. I will live, in my own way.

I will keep making my arms stronger, so one day I can fly.

With utmost sincerity,

Kaitlin R.

{Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling,
So kiss me.}

 BOLD>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>ITALICS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>UNDERLINED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

NORMAL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I AM ACHING FOR SPRING!!!

Seriously, it's like this well inside of me, building up. I can smell it in the air. I am dying for green things.

And I saw some green things, pushing their way through the dark earth, and it was beautiful.

Also, I know some who are the bravest and the strongest and I love them.

With utmost sincerity, 
Kaitlin R.

I'm going on an adventure...

Well, this is it.

I'm moving out in a few hours...

I'm still in denial a little bit...I just keep thinking of Bilbo and how he didn't want to leave his home, just wanted to stay and be comfortable...but, he went...and so must I.

More adventures to come!

With utmost sincerity,

Kaitlin R.  

Hero's get remembered...

There's nothing to say,

nothing to do,

nothing to say,

nothing to do...

 But, sit and dream of you.

I'm watching "The Sandlot." Good movie. It was filmed in Utah.

{But legends never die.}

{Follow your heart kid...}

{...and you'll never go wrong.}

Watch Olan Rogers on YouTube. You'll laugh your guts out.

I got to make jack o'lantern's at work today.

Check, check, success!
 

{I just got the best dang chicken tenders...}

Laughing just makes my heart lighter.

Makes the world a little bit brighter.

Opens your eyes.

Open's the skies.

Life's just a big bowl of jello.

And do you have a spoon???

[I'm tired, and bored...and I can't get italics off...]

Weeoooweeoooweeeoooweeooo!

There's a man I love, and his name is Richard Armitage. {heart, heart, heart!}

If you have Netflix, and time, watch

North and South.

It's beautiful, and you'll fall in love with Richard Armitage too! 

With utmost sincerity,

Kaitlin R.

 

An explanation...

So, there are some lovelies who, due to circumstances totally inside their control and due to their desire to become the best the can be, had to and wanted to go off into the great wide world of college. 

Some went, or will be going up north to various parts of the country. 

Some moved just south east of me to a great university, and some to just the taddest bit of tad north to another university. 

I will, contrary to popular belief (mostly my own), be joining them in a few months time to start an adventure of my own, up north, in Idaho.

Regardless, this blog is my way of staying connected, and a way of describing my own adventures and thoughts about, well, anything that suits my fancy really. 

The title of this blog is a quote from one of my favorite books of all time. Note the careful use of the word one in that previous sentence. It is absolutely, without a doubt, impossible for me to choose a favorite book...but there are some that mean just a bit more to me in some ways than in others. I shall delve deeper into the realm of books and favorites and favorite books at another time (many other times, I'm sure.)

Anyways, the quote is from the book Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie. It's a delightful and incredible book, for many reasons, some of which I cannot explain in words because they are close to my heart and soul, and often, elements of the soul are not easily expressed in words.

The web address to this bog is "That is a grand sunrise..." The whole working of the sunrise and the sunset are deeply spiritual and special to me...a dear friend of mine, and the gospel made it so. I will try to explain that sometime in another blog post...but, it is likely that words will not do it justice. 

So, there's the first post. Please, comment, ask questions, etc...I'm here for you!

With utmost sincerity, 

Kaitlin R.