That first place...

I realized something the other night, as I was falling asleep. 

I feel like my whole life has been winter. I have not always felt like this. But the last few months have made me feel like my whole existence, all my thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears...all have been in winter. That all I've ever known is winter. That all I'll ever be is winter. This is not true, because I've lived every season of the soul more than once. And every season of the soul is a season I enjoy. Every season of the earth is a season I enjoy because God made them and gave them to me.

But it's winter now. 

And I have to keep hoping for spring. I have to keep searching for spring. I have to believe in spring. I have to believe spring will come, and with it something else to thaw my soul.

I keep hoping for spring. Hoping so much it hurts. Hurts because the icy tendrils on my heart get nervous. Nervous because they don't want it to be spring. Spring because it's a threat to their life and they don't want to let go. Go because they must. Must because I have to be green again. Again because that's what I was in that First Place.

I need to be green again.

With utmost sincerity, 

Kaitlin R.

Sometimes I want to be kissed. 

Is that bad? Probably not. 

College has become a jumble of walking and cold and shoving information into my brain where is pokes the backs of my eyes. Sometimes causing headaches, sometimes causing me to see things I never saw before. 

I want to be a Church Archivist when I grow up. 

I have an awful lot of growing up to do; I realize that more and more everyday. 

I have a very low hemoglobin level. I tried to donate blood today but was unable to. Low iron...hmmm...highly suspect. 

I work on strengthening my arm muscles so that one day I can fly. 

The Constitution of the United States is an incredible and beautiful thing. It's not something to be treated lightly, or to be considered "out dated" because it's not. 

{Except my life, except my life, except my life...}

With utmost sincerity,
Kaitlin R.

I have to say this...

Forgive me if this is crass, but I felt it needed to be said.

Pro-choice?

Yeah.

You can choose to not have sex.

You can choose to give your baby up for adoption.

You can choose to take responsibilities for your actions.

However, killing (yes, killing) and innocent child should not be an option. And the American people should by no means have to pay for it.

I know, under the laws of this country you can get an abortion.

But, why on Earth would you want to?

Sincerely,

Kaitlin R.

Irrational...

My humanities textbook said something that I ended up writing on a piece of paper and sticking to my wall.

{Just because it's irrational doesn't mean it's not real...}

How great is that?!!

I guess I like it so much because I'm an irrational human person. 

...

I love Ellen Degeneres. 

I watch her videos on Youtube and I always end up crying when she gives things away. She's just so bright and so good. 

I want to be like that. I want to be brighter and better and inspire people!

...

I also heard another quote from a video by "Kid President."

{We can cry about it, or we can dance about it.}

I love that. 

With utmost sincerity,

Kaitlin R.

I'm going on an adventure...

Well, this is it.

I'm moving out in a few hours...

I'm still in denial a little bit...I just keep thinking of Bilbo and how he didn't want to leave his home, just wanted to stay and be comfortable...but, he went...and so must I.

More adventures to come!

With utmost sincerity,

Kaitlin R.  

Those were the stories...

Bask in this glorious and hopeful message...

"Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. 

Frodo: What are we fighting for, Sam?"

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

I just...I can't describe my love for The Lord of the Rings. There's so much. Really...just, ah...

With utmost sincerity, 

Kaitlin R. 

And...

Furious

and,

anxious

and,

so, like, confusedddddd!

But guess what? I watched an old science fiction movie with my dad last night. I was not expecting it to freak me out, but oh, it did...

Also, Slenderman...freaky! Still, gives me a good idea, but more on that never.

There's this weird anime I watch called Sgt. Frog. It's the weirdest thing, but I find it really entertaining and I love it.  I don't recommend it to you, unless you really like anime and silly cartoons.

I need to go dance. Do you ever need to go dance? I need to go dance.

You need to go dance.

With utmost sincerity,
Kaitlin R.

P.S. I'm moving out (finally!) in about a month. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.